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Stefanie Cybulski

PCS now stands for...

In January 2021 I started my blogging journey. We had just moved to California from Arizona 7 months prior; it was the middle of the Covid pandemic, my youngest who was 9 months old at the time had an at home nurse and a feeding tube because she was failure to thrive, my three older kids were adjusting to a new neighborhood and my husband had been deployed for 2 months out of a 6-month deployment. It. Was. Hell.

Blogging became my way of venting about all the life things and after every blog post, I felt better. I felt even better as the months passed and I had fellow military spouses tell me they enjoyed my posts and even looked forward to them because they could relate. Icing on the cake.

One of my New Year's promises to myself this year was that I would be more consistent with my blogging. My intention was to write and post a new blog entry every Monday (to discuss the weekend crazy) and every Friday (to discuss the weekday crazy) that is our life. I was pretty consistent up until Spring.


Why? What happened in the Spring?


We moved.

Again.


Where did we move?


Across the country.

Again.


One of the first blog posts I wrote in 2021 was about our PCS and what the acronym stood for. It is supposed to mean 'Permanent Change of Station" which is hilarious and ironic as the military moves you every few years so there is NOTHING permanent about it. So, I renamed it to 'Push, Change, Shove.' You can read why when you click on the link below.



However, after this move, I feel PCS needs a new meaning. This move was different in so many ways. For one, it is (fingers crossed because you never f-ing know in the military) our last one. We bought a home where we are (fingers crossed again) hoping our children can FINALLY start putting down some roots.

Another reason was the actual move out here. We had some serious adventures driving across this beautiful country and made some once-in-a-lifetime memories with our kids that I hope they'll look back on and cherish.

But after the wonderful memory making trip, the getting to our final destination was being thrown into one thing after another with our new home. 0 out of 10 do I recommend buying a home from across the country (yes, we had family look through it, yes, we had an inspector, yes, we did a video walkthrough, yes, we did ALL the things correctly and didn't cut any corners other than not physically seeing the house ourselves in person). It has been an ordeal. Seriously, 0 out of 10.

Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely love our house. Love, love, love. I love the size, I love the layout, I love the hardwood floors, I love that we have a basement, I love the privacy of our backyard, I love that it's 4 houses down from my twin sister, I love our neighbors, I love this neighborhood, I love the schools our kids are attending, I LOVE this house. I just don't love that we've had to repaint every single wall and ceiling, replace every single piece of door casing and baseboard, replace every door, and replace all the carpet in the bedrooms and basement.

We knew we were going to have to paint the walls, we obviously want the house to reflect our style and furnishings, but what we didn't realize is that there was a moisture issue with the drywall (not mold, we had it inspected) but apparently the previous owners didn't like being cool in the summer so they didn't run their AC and if you've ever lived in Virginia, you know the humidity will make you feel like you just stepped out of the shower instead of your front door, and as a result (with added cheap latex paint over oil, or oil over latex, I honestly can't remember) the paint was literally peeling off the walls and wood trim in sheets. I've never seen anything like it, and neither had any of the half dozen painters that we consulted to figure out what the hell was going on. It was NOT a happy accident.

What was supposed to be just 2-3 weeks at my mother-in-law's house while we painted and had the floors refinished turned into two months. TWO. MONTHS. That's 8 weeks of living out of suitcases. 8 weeks of my MIL having 6 additional people in her home that she was used to having just to herself with her dog. 8 weeks of my kids not being able to meet anyone on their new street. 8 weeks of no routine for a family that runs on routine. But we did it. I am beyond grateful that my mother-in-law and I have such a great relationship (we said that going in and Lord, we needed it until the end).

It has been 3 months since we "moved" into our new home. Our furniture and belongings were delivered August 22, and we moved our clothes and what we had with us over from my MIL's that weekend. We've gotten a lot accomplished in that amount of time. All bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs have been painted, have new carpet, and new door casing and baseboards.

Our kitchen, living room and hallway walls also have new coats of paint, new door casing and baseboards. Our hardwood floors have been refinished (that was done over the summer) and our basement carpet has been replaced.

But there is still so much to do.

I circle back to my original reason for writing this post, which was to re-name the PCS acronym. Originally, 'Permanent Change of Station' morphed into 'Push, Change, Shove', and, thanks to our latest adventure, PCS now stands for 'Pack, Change, Surprise!'.


The pack is, well, obvious with a move. You pack your things, or have them packed, and you move them. The change, again from my last blog post about this subject, very obvious because when you move, you change everything...EV. RY. THING. You have a new home, in a new state or country, new friends to meet, new schools to attend, new doctors to find, new stores to shop, new roads to learn...you get the idea. And with most all PCS journeys, there are lots and lots of SURPRISES! Ask a military spouse about one surprise they've experienced during a PCS and their response will undoubetdly be, "Just one?" With this PCS, everything on the back end of our trip has been a SURPRISE! Now, not all surprises are good, but that doesn't mean they are all bad.

We were surprised to find we needed to repaint every surface, to include trim and doors, in our home.

We were surprised to find out that previous owners seemed to feel they could do their own handiwork in, let's just say, not the most efficient way.


But we were also surprised to find out we had the absolute best neighbors right next door, across the street, and a few houses down (to include my sister in that). We've had several driveway get togethers already and it's such a wonderful group of people that I am so thankful we found.

We were also surprised to find out our middle son who had the hardest time moving was recruited to a travel soccer team and is in the process of being tested for the academically gifted program at his school.

We were surprised when we had friends and family visit from NJ not once, not twice, but three times already since we've moved here in July and love our kids almost as much as we do. After 5 years across the country from 98% of our family, this was a very welcome surprise.

Life is full of surprises (surprise! It's taken me about two months to write this blog post...I started it back in September). The only thing you can do is just roll with the punches. Semper Gumby is a term I heard military spouses use way back when we were living in North Carolina and just babies in this military life; it means Alway Flexible, and you have to be. If you aren't flexible in the military, whether it is as a spouse or service member, there is a good chance you will just break. You have to learn to bend and snap ladies (and gents).

Plans are made, then they change. Routes are planned, then detours pop up. You think you have it figured out, then a monkey wrench is tossed to you while you're holding a box of breakables and you have to make a split second decision to let go and have valuables you hold dear break, or just get whacked in the face.


So, Pack it up. Change it up. And get ready for the Surprises!










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