Resilience is defined as the ability to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. Resilience, strength, adaptability, courage, these are just a few of the characteristics that define a unique group of individuals. A group that experiences change so often that it's almost all they know. Moving homes, experiencing different states, countries, and cultures, leaving loved ones, having loved ones leave for untold amounts of time. Yet through all the uncertainty, they smile. They laugh. They find joy in every day.
They are military children.
April is the month of the military child. One month out of twelve doesn't seem like enough recognition to give to such an amazing group of individuals who deal with so many challenges and changes in such a short amount of time.
My oldest son is going to be 16 in just a few months. Sweet sixteen, I can't believe it. He'll be a junior in high school in the fall, and it'll be a new school. I should say another new school. Sixteen is a milestone number for kids, one of many that they'll experience as they grow. Another number important to my son is 6, as that is the number of schools my son has had to be the 'new' kid in the past ten years.
I have four children. One was born in Virginia, two were born in North Carolina, and one was born in Arizona. My two-year-old daughter (three at the end of the month) will be living in her third state come this summer.
Moving can be exciting. New homes, new friends, new experiences. But the lack of consistency, the inability to put down roots that run deep is a hurdle to overcome. I say they can overcome because they have an ability to adapt like no other. Instead of roots that run deep, they adapt like desert plants and have roots that grow out and grow wide to make as many friendships and connections as they can in the short time they live somewhere. And like the dandelion flower dedicated to representing them, they can bloom, anywhere.
Growing where they are planted is only part of their journey. Being separated from a parent for months at a time is another challenge they never asked for, but they endure it. My second youngest son, who is now 8, was born when his father was on a combat deployment to Afghanistan. It was not a smooth delivery, but thankfully we had family close by (5 hours) to help with my oldest who was 7 at the time while I recovered. DJ met his dad when he was two months old. When he was 5 months old, his dad had to go to California for training for a month, and when he was 8 months old, his father went on a UDP (Unit Deployment Program) to Okinawa for 6 months; he was 14 months old when his dad got back. In 14 months, his dad had only been with him for a total of 5 months.
I took a video one time during that deployment asking DJ where daddy was, and he turned and pointed to a family picture on the wall. To him, his dad was a picture or a face on a screen for the first year of his life. It took my husband coming home and holding out a handful of goldfish upon his return for DJ to warm up enough to sit on his lap (this kid loves his snacks even to this day).
That was just two of our four kiddos. Our first daughter didn't have to go through an absence with her father until she was 4 years old, while our second daughter has gone through back-to-back deployments, the first when she was only 7 months old and the second when she just turned 2. Each child has a different experience with their dad being in the military, and each child reacts differently.
Thankfully, the military knows the difficulties associated with being a part of this life and there are so many programs to help families through all the baggage that comes with being a military spouse or kid. We've utilized many of these programs over the years, and I encourage any family who may be struggling to reach out. FOCUS, Military One Source, and LINKS are all programs that we've used, and there are so many more that offer guidance to families. They won't reinvent the wheel, but they can help make a smoother road.
I designed a shirt (modeled by my daughter below) in support of not just my own kiddos, but all military children everywhere. They truly are a special breed of human beings that will no doubt grow to become some of the strongest minds and hearts that the world will see. Youth and toddler sizes are available on my Etsy shop (SCDesignsandDecor - Etsy)
Military children Adapt to whatever new surroundings they find themselves in.
Military children Root where they are planted.
Military children Bloom and blossom wherever they are.
April is the month of the military child. But for my children, we celebrate them all year long.
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